I have a disease, I don't know what its called but I know it exists. I admit its a strange one and I might be the only one that has it but I have a disease that makes it impossible for me to say the word "No!"And it gets me into all sorts of trouble. I'm not someone who has a lot of free time on his hands so when someone asks me if I can do them a favour my head generally thinks 'No, not really....' but before it can finish that thought my mouth will blab out, "Sure! How can I help?" in a really enthusiastic tone while my head silently screams 'You idiot! You have a million and one things to do and you just had to say yes and add something else to the list.'
And so to the point, on Tuesday I was approached by a friend to do his shift on hospital radio tonight. I had no idea he did hospital radio. For some reason I was under the impression that the need for hospital radio had seen its day. I have no idea why I thought this, I just did. I was wrong. It's still going strong. And somehow I got myself roped into it tonight. Presumedly the other volunteer DJ's couldn't fill in so I was probably the last resort. In my head I was saying 'No, hell no,I know nothing about being a DJ. No, you've given me 3 days notice here. No, what the hell do you play to the ill and the dying?' But again I heard that voice saying, "Sure, yes, why not!"
So I then spent the next 3 days wondering what the hell I was going to play. The more I thought about it the more I cursed my inability to say no. ^The first thing I had to to think about when creating a play list was the fact that they was a wide range of age groups to cater to. That in itself wasn't too difficult, I have a broad ranging taste in music and can be considerate about not imposing my tastes on other people. However I have to admit that before this week I had never given much thought to the responsibility of playing music in a hospital environment. It's further complicated by the fact that in a hospital you have people dying, and others just slipping in and out of consciousness. There are certain songs you don't really want to play to such people like for example The Fugee's singing Killing Me Softly sprung to mind, just in case a sleeping patient comes around at the wrong time and mistakes Lauryn Hill for an angel that is suggesting it is a time to follow the bright light. Whereas Wild horses by the Rolling Stones might just give such a patient extra will to carry on, but then again it depends which part of the song they were listening to. Then you have to think about the nurses on late night bed pan duty so any thoughts of playing I Hate You So Much Right Now by Kelis or I Hate Everything About You by Three Days Grace can also be scored off to reduce the possibilities of an overstressed nurse going on a rampage and taking it out on patients. Not that I would played such songs anyway but with this thought pattern other songs soon had to be reconsidered.
As you can probably tell I spent 3 days thinking about this way too much but despite that tonight did actually run smoothly. As far as I know there wasn't an increase in the number of patients choosing to visit the pearly gates whilst I was on air. And a rather attractive Kiwi nurse did say that I have great taste in music and that it was the best show she had heard in a long time so that was good for the old ego. Less good was having to listen to my own voice. It's amazing how you can go through life not really listening to yourself, and it can be quite a shock when you don't sound quite like you thought. I may have the face for radio but I don't have the voice. Listening to myself tonight it was almost enough for me not to ever talk again. Of course, by tomorrow I'll probably forget, slip up and do just that but I know now that any woman who likes the sound of my voice and accent should be avoided at all costs for the simple reason she has no taste and is obviously not right in the head.