Warning: You may not want to read this post and I would urge you not to bother wasting your time, this is just me getting a bad day off my chest so that I can move on to normal programming and not sound like an even more foul mouthed version of Billy Connolly.
Fuck you, thieving bastard who visited in the middle of the night whilst I was out enjoying myself. Fuck you, for breaking the window on the side of the house, fuck you for helping yourself to the £200 I didn’t manage to get in the bank on Friday and fuck you for taking the camera too. Fuck you!
Fuck me, for not getting round to organising the house insurance yet. Fuck me, for not finishing work earlier on Friday so I could have put that money in the bank. I guess I can forget about treating myself and a friend to the Connect festival now. Another year older, same old fucking stupid shit. And fuck me, for not leaving the camera under the seat of the van like I usually do. Somehow it was safer there, who fucking knew? Fuck me!
While I’m at it, fuck Hotpoint too and their washing machines built to last days after the guarantee runs out. I really didn’t have the time to deal with that breaking down this morning, of all mornings, nor the time to look for the receipt. That proved only to be a fucking waste of my time.
Fuck the blow out on the left front tire. Fuck the pot holes on the badly maintained roads. Fuck the politicians who want to build new motorways hen they can’t even find the money for resurfacing the roads we already have.
Fuck you, Bank Of Scotland for charging me £70 for not processing £64 worth of Direct Debits. Maybe if your staff hadn’t closed the door on my face at on Friday I would have had that 3 pounds and 28 pence extra in my account that I needed. No wonder you changed your company motto from A Friend For Life to Giving You A Little Extra. However may I suggest it you change it once again to Giving You A Little Extra Stress, because that would be more fucking accurate. Damn right I’m fucking pissed off, that’s why I’m writing this post but afterwards I’m going to feel better for it, then I’m going to write a nice letter and demand my money back. And damn right I’ll be getting it back because I am not a man to be fucked with today. I’m not in the mood to sit back and fucking take it anymore.
If anyone did happen to read that. I hope they didn’t bother analysing the lines above it wouldn’t have been worth the effort not when I said fuck 21times.
Normal programming should return soon.