Monday, 30 July 2007

My Poisoned Fingers Ode To A Bad Day

Warning: You may not want to read this post and I would urge you not to bother wasting your time, this is just me getting a bad day off my chest so that I can move on to normal programming and not sound like an even more foul mouthed version of Billy Connolly.

Fuck you, thieving bastard who visited in the middle of the night whilst I was out enjoying myself. Fuck you, for breaking the window on the side of the house, fuck you for helping yourself to the £200 I didn’t manage to get in the bank on Friday and fuck you for taking the camera too. Fuck you!

Fuck me, for not getting round to organising the house insurance yet. Fuck me, for not finishing work earlier on Friday so I could have put that money in the bank. I guess I can forget about treating myself and a friend to the Connect festival now. Another year older, same old fucking stupid shit. And fuck me, for not leaving the camera under the seat of the van like I usually do. Somehow it was safer there, who fucking knew? Fuck me!

While I’m at it, fuck Hotpoint too and their washing machines built to last days after the guarantee runs out. I really didn’t have the time to deal with that breaking down this morning, of all mornings, nor the time to look for the receipt. That proved only to be a fucking waste of my time.

Fuck the blow out on the left front tire. Fuck the pot holes on the badly maintained roads. Fuck the politicians who want to build new motorways hen they can’t even find the money for resurfacing the roads we already have.

Fuck you, Bank Of Scotland for charging me £70 for not processing £64 worth of Direct Debits. Maybe if your staff hadn’t closed the door on my face at 4:58 on Friday I would have had that 3 pounds and 28 pence extra in my account that I needed. No wonder you changed your company motto from A Friend For Life to Giving You A Little Extra. However may I suggest it you change it once again to Giving You A Little Extra Stress, because that would be more fucking accurate. Damn right I’m fucking pissed off, that’s why I’m writing this post but afterwards I’m going to feel better for it, then I’m going to write a nice letter and demand my money back. And damn right I’ll be getting it back because I am not a man to be fucked with today. I’m not in the mood to sit back and fucking take it anymore.

If anyone did happen to read that. I hope they didn’t bother analysing the lines above it wouldn’t have been worth the effort not when I said fuck 21times.

Normal programming should return soon.


Cat said...

You have my sympathies. I was burgled a few years back - it was one of the most traumatic things which has ever happened to me.

But thank your lucky stars they didn't go through every inch of your home looking for money, including emptying your underwear drawer into a big pile on the bedroom floor. I went commando til the insurace came through - the thought of filthy junkie fingers in my pants made me feel quite ill.

Just a Girl said...


Is it bad that I smiled through your rant? I feel for you but what you wrote was a little enjoyable.


Scotsman said...

Cat I would probably just have washed them a few times, oh wait I couldn't because I have no washing machine. I can see me running out of clean clothes before I get a new one. Small mercies for laundrettes.

Jag I'll forgive you, but just this fucking once. Pfft!

Just a Girl said...


Misssy M said...

This is why the older you get, the more right wing you become. Because crap like that happens.

Being burgled is horrible. And Cat's right, it's not just about what they take, is it? It's about the violation.

And I'm just talking about the bank.

Misssy M said...

Being burgled is horrible. And Cat's right, it's not just about what they take, it's the violation.

This is one of the reasons, you get more right wing as you get older...

And I'm just talking about the banks.

You will get your charges back now- they're handing them back to anyone who even makes a vague complaint.

Go on the site to see how to do it. That Martin Lewis bloke has started a consumer revolution.

Ooh I feel like Esther Rantzen.


Scotsman said...

You're right but funny enough I wasn't too bothered about the burglary at first, I just put it down to one of life's little adventures until I discovered I had no money for the window repair. Logging online and seeing that I had been violated twice in the space of 24 hours well that was it. The fact that will give you the money back but only if you complain makes what the banks do somehow worse. Unfortunately because I'm a business its slightly harder to get your charges back, the banks are more willing to fight the charges and up until it had been too much hassle to go to court but after yesterday I've decided I'm so peeved off if thats the game they want to play I'm game.

Misssy M said...

Aaargh Bloody comment box- I wrote a comment, lost it, I re-wrote the comment, posted it.

And now I look like I've got dementia.

Scotsman said...

I've done that more than a few times myself, now I just get around it by giving in to my lazy side.