Sunday, 11 February 2007

Sticking With The News Theme

I had hoped that whilst I was living and working in the wilderness that Tony Blair might have done the decent thing and retired by now. But he is clinging on to power and continues to bring the British Government into disrepute. The latest attempt to ingratiate his party with the moral majority is to have offenders serving a community sentence wear recognisable uniforms. Mr Blair last week applauded this idea from the Home Office as "perfectly sensible".

There is no detail yet on the uniform but the chain-gang look would be appropriate. Having to wear one of those big stripy suits would certainly deter some people from doing crime if they actually had to work in the same community in which they did the crime. Manacles would be good, although they might get in the way of cutting grass or sweeping streets or whatever tasks are allotted. Rifle-toting guards, a retired colonel or two, should definitely be on hand to ensure there is no slacking. 6 year old kids should be permitted, nay encouraged, to shout abuse or even throw the occasional piece of rotten fruit or veg at the folk in the stripy suits.

Perhaps the chain-gang theme is just too last-century. Something a bit more subtle, but still instantly recognisable, is required. Something along the lines of a yellow star or a pink triangle. Or even a tattoo as a memento to the offenders for their transgressions.

The concept of recognisable uniforms could be extended to those yet to face trial for their crimes. Presidents and prime ministers who embark on bloody wars that make the world infinitly more unsafe spring to mind. I am sure there are a couple of those bright orange Guantanamo jump-suits which would fit Bush and Blair just dandy. Better yet, scrap the uniforms, if they believe in their war so much send them off to fight it and bring the 19 year old's currently doing the fighting back home. Although I must admit I would like to see the day that Bush or Blair, or both, had egg on their face.

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